Accepting unworthy thoughts
May you accept desire and anger without self-condemnation
Lust, fear, and anger are inextricably linked with atavistic survival mechanisms in the oldest parts of your brain and so they will always be part of your neural and spiritual personality. However, evolution has made us social animals and so we abide by certain universal ethical standards. Your Self is threatened by the appearance in consciousness of prohibited experiences like irrational anger and malicious desires. Because it is conscious awareness of these states that is dangerous, the threat can be allayed by inhibiting the sensations that trigger these events. And since there are always gaps in your self-consciousness, your Self System continually fails to shield you from this pain of awareness. Instead of suppressing such thoughts when they arise or chastising yourself for thinking such things, accept that your thoughts aren’t necessarily part of who you are. Meditation allows you to leisurely explore the provenance of the thoughts that led to the feelings of anger or desire, to gently tease apart the interwoven strands in a languid and unhurried way and without the pressing need to resolve them. So instead of self-condemnation, you acknowledge that certain acts occurred, whether mental or physical, that were not appropriate and that these acts were driven by desire, fear, or anger. Endeavouring to approach your fears, insecurities, and desires with warmth and compassion is approaching them in maitrī (मैत्री), so that you get to know those parts of you that you find so abhorrent and repulsive. When you do not try to avoid, subdue, or rationalise negative thoughts, feelings, or experiences, they lose their power to alarm and confuse you when they unexpectedly arise and you can approach them calmly and rationally or simply let them go.